And Other Observations
by Solstice Zero
Summary: Ianto heads off to the United States to attend annual conferences at the U.S. UNIT bases. He and Jack keep up an email correspondence during the trip. This is that correspondence. Jack/Ianto.


From: Jones, Ianto  
To: Jack  
Subject: Arrived in Washington  
Date: Saturday 23rd May 2009

* * *

Jack,

As I'll be out of the country for a week, and international calls would collapse our already tenuous budget, emails would probably be our safest bet for staying in contact about the goings-on here in the US. As much as I know you would love to receive handwritten letters by horse and carriage.

The flight was atrocious, thank you in advance for asking. There was a small child sicking up every thirty minutes in the seat next to me. His mother looked just as revolted as I was. Why aren't you doing the yearly U.S. UNIT meetings again?

At the arrival gate at Dulles International, there was a man holding a sign that said 'Ianto Jones' over his head. I'm certain there was no confusion involving another person with that name; there are very few Ianto Joneses in America, one would guess. But he still thought that I was lying to him. I was too young. I had to offer him my Torchwood ID. This is somehow your fault, but I've yet to think of why.

The hotel is lovely; only two bugs in the room. It's almost as though they trust me.

Two meetings and a tour of the Washington D.C. UNIT base tomorrow. I'll tell you how it goes.

Ianto

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From: Harkness, Jack  
To: Ianto  
Subject: Re: Arrived in Washington  
Date: Saturday 23rd May 2009

* * *

Ianto,

No drunken phone calls after you've discovered the minibar? This trip just got a lot less fun for me.

Don't look the D.C. UNIT director in the eye. She'll eat your heart. The red on her mouth is not lipstick, it's the blood of the innocent. You've been warned.

CJH

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From: Jones, Ianto  
To: Jack  
Subject: Fair Warning  
Date: Sunday 24th May 2009

* * *

Jack,

Received your email _after_ the meeting with UNIT superiors today. Successfully did not have my heart eaten. The meeting was much less important than I was led to believe; it was mostly to complain about you. I think the director actually liked me. So there's me, outcharming you. You'll have to find some way to deal with it. I'd suggest a good wank.

Second meeting went very well. President Obama is a lovely chap.

Tonight, off to New York City, to meet with the UNIT officials there tomorrow morning. I expect more of the same from them. One good thing, though: Martha's going to be there. She's just rung to tell me so. She's positively squeaking with excitement to see me. I have to admit, were I the type to squeak, I'd be the same way.

Perhaps I squeaked a little.

Ianto

---------

From: Harkness, Jack  
To: Ianto  
Subject: Re: Fair Warning  
Date: Sunday 24th May 2009

* * *

Ianto,

You've learned all of my tricks. But the student never surpasses the teacher, Ianto. Remember that. (Student/teacher. There's something we've never tried.)

Kiss Martha hello for me. What's she doing in New York? I figured her for a London girl, through and through.

CJH

-----------

From: Jones, Ianto  
To: Jack  
Subject: NYC  
Date: Monday 25th May 2009

* * *

Jack,

I knew you would say that.

She's here for much the same reason I am; liaising. But she isn't being yelled at, I don't believe, while that makes up roughly 90% of the meetings that I have attended thus far. Again, all about you.

I notice you gave me no warning of the New York UNIT director, who appears a lovely chap. Quite the smile. Hates you utterly. Again, liked me. Slipped me his personal mobile number as we were shaking hands goodbye. I wonder what sort of job he was actually offering me?

Martha took me out on the town today. Shopping is lovely here. Don't you dare mock me. She took time to point out the places she'd been with the Doctor during the Great Depression. This time traveling life the both of you have led often gives me a headache. Dalekanium is the worst metal name I've ever heard.

More meetings tomorrow. Right now, drinks with Martha and a few of her American UNIT mates. I've heard there will be karaoke.

Ianto

------------

From: Harkness, Jack  
To: Ianto  
Subject: Re: NYC  
Date: Monday 25th May 2009

* * *

Ianto,

Any job he offers you wouldn't be as good as the ones I offer.

I didn't know Martha was in New York during the Depression. Now a few news stories make sense. It's a good thing we didn't run into each other there. I was a little busy, though. Maybe I'll tell you about that at some point.

Have fun, Sinatra. Gwen sends her love, hovering over my shoulder.

CJH

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From: Jones, Ianto  
To: Jack  
Subject: Re: NYC  
Date: Tuesday 26th May 2009

* * *

Jack,

Noted. And you're never going to stop leaving your stories that way, are you?

More of the same in the way of meetings today. Much of it is an explanation of the rift, and what we know about it. Whether it has a pattern, whether we think it can ever be fully controlled or closed. I hate having to tell them that we don't know. It makes us look weak. But we really don't. We can't. I'm not sure we'll ever know.

Leaving for Chicago in half an hour. The airport is nearly deserted at this time of night – or, I suppose, this early in the morning. It's very quiet. Nothing through the huge windows but the blinking lights of descending aeroplanes and their runways.

Everyone here sounds like you.

Ianto

-------------

From: Harkness, Jack  
To: Ianto  
Subject: Re: NYC  
Date: Tuesday 26th May 2009

* * *

Ianto,

This morning, a rift alarm woke us up at 5am. Well, it woke _me_ up; I woke Gwen up. The big yawn through her mobile was a pretty good clue. So I swung by with the SUV to pick her up, and we drove out to the location of the rift activity. Middle of a field, as it always is with these things, right before dawn.

We pulled up to the edge of the field and started to walk across it, and the only thing we could see was this box. We walked right up to it. It didn't seem dangerous, and it had a hinged lid with no lock, so we figured, might as well try it and see. So I kicked the lid open. Eight fireworks came screaming out of it and exploded in eight different-colored pinwheels. Then the box itself vanished in a puff of purple smoke.

No idea what that was about. But Gwen stared at the purple smoke wafting up toward the trails of grey firework smoke in the sky, and she said, "Ianto would have loved that."

I thought the same thing.

Jack

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From: Jones, Ianto  
To: Jack  
Subject: Chicago  
Date: Tuesday 26th May 2009

* * *

Jack,

There is a large metal bean in the middle of Chicago.

This is about the only part of Chicago I've seen, besides the insides of UNIT boardrooms and what is visible through the tinted glass of their complementary cars, and of course the hotel. Not bugged at all. I think they're too busy. It's been meeting after meeting in this city. I think this branch has come under new management recently; we're retreading information that must have come up in past visits. It's all right, though. They're all very polite, and it's nice to be asked questions instead of having answers demanded of me.

Tomorrow morning, off to Las Vegas. Legal gambling and prostitution. Neither of which I will be taking part in.

Ianto

------------

From: Harkness, Jack  
To: Ianto  
Subject: Re: Chicago  
Date: Tuesday 26th May 2009

* * *

Ianto,

Aw, why not? You'd be great at poker. You'd win us back some of the money we've lost in sending you on a tour of the US. The prostitution, though, I'd stay away from. You wouldn't look good in fishnets.

Cardiff faced the threat of invasion for a few hours last night, but we handled it. Just a misunderstanding. I can't tell you how many times an invasion has just been a big misunderstanding. Especially on Earth. Something about this planet makes it a target for aliens that aren't really all that bright.

Jack

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From: Jones, Ianto  
To: Jack  
Subject: Fabulous Las Vegas  
Date: Wednesday 27th May 2009

* * *

Jack,

That's what brought you here, then?

Zing.

My first impression of Las Vegas: bright. There are too many lights. These people need a good power-out. It's like the town is full of vampires.

It isn't, is it?

The UNIT base here is a bit of a joke. They're all a bit off. The director is very flashy. They dealt with the Roswell incident in New Mexico, though, so they can't be absolutely terrible at their job. I do have a feeling that they are the slow half-brother of the other UNIT bases. Please don't quote me as saying that; I'm certain half of them could kill me with one hand.

Sex and intrigue at a minimum, despite the iniquitous surroundings.

Ianto

------------

From: Harkness, Jack  
To: Ianto  
Subject: Re: Fabulous Las Vegas  
Date: Wednesday 27th May 2009

* * *

Ianto,

You wound me, really.

I never liked Las Vegas, if you can believe it. Too much song and dance, even for me. It's sensory overload almost constantly. Don't stare at any one thing for too long, or you'll get hypnotized and we'll never see you again.

Jack

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From: Jones, Ianto  
To: Jack  
Subject: Tomorrow  
Date: Thursday 28th May 2009

* * *

Jack,

I'll be back tomorrow, about 3pm Cardiff time.

It's bound to be another hellish plane ride, perhaps with an elderly woman telling me about her nine wonderful grandchildren and a child kicking the back of my seat for six hours, but I'll be glad to have my feet on Welsh ground again.

I miss Cardiff.

Ianto

-----------

From: Harkness, Jack  
To: Ianto  
Subject: Re: Tomorrow  
Date: Thursday 28th May 2009

* * *

Ianto,

Cardiff misses you. I'll see you soon.

Jack


End file.
